How to Encourage Your Partner To Attend Couples Counseling

As couples, we all encounter problems within our relationships. It is normal and everyone experiences them but how we choose to resolve these issues are vital. Even more importantly, is the need for both partners to agree to seek resolutions as a united front.

With the rapidly growing pace of life, it is easy to lose focus on the root of the problems you may be facing. Sun Point Wellness Centre offers you as couples a chance to improve their current situation. A professional and neutral third party could be the difference between reaching a 50-year anniversary, as opposed to a 50 day break-up, make-up cycle.

The problem you could face is when your partner does not agree to attend therapy.At first this may be very disappointing but take heart, there are solutions.

Following, are tips to assist you in encouraging your partner to attend therapy alongside you:

Ensure you pick a good time to broach the subject, for example:

Organize a quiet time when both of you are feeling relaxed and open to discussing sensitive issues.

• If your schedules are ridiculously busy, request a time to chat together– let your partner block out a time slot in their diary for the two of you to meaningfully engage.

• Prepare yourself for a negative response or defensive behaviors 

• Your partner may feel that things are not as bad as you think they are. It would be helpful to make short notes beforehand, so you can remind your other half regarding issues that have caused havoc in the past (and present!).

• When addressing the topics in (a), never use attacking or biased language. Examples: “you NEVER”, “you ALWAYS”...Avoid these phrases at all costs, and replace them with: “WE seem to get stuck with this” or “WE don’t seem to be finding a resolution for that”. It will immediately put your partner at rest as they hear that you are accepting your role in the partnership and the problems involved.

• Your partner may simply be too embarrassed to acknowledge to a third party regarding the short falls in your relationship.

Find a Good Fit

Some people find it exceptionally difficult to speak about their feelings, and may even feel like a failure for not having been able to ‘fix’ what is not whole by themselves. Try to find a Counsellor that would be a good fit for you and your partner.

Make an appointment for yourself first – explain to your partner that you’d like to explore your own ‘triggers’, feelings or childhood memories despite their resistance/reluctance to join. Once your partner sees that your lifestyle habits and coping mechanisms have changed, your testimony of healing will in itself be the greatest encouragement.

Give it Time

Finally, bear in mind that it may take your partner a fair amount of time to realize, or pluck up the much needed courage to attend therapy with you. Getting your partner to Couples Therapy IS possible and we at Sun Point Wellness Clinic are available to assist you in your quest.

We strongly support the health and prosperity of every union and remain neutral and unbiased as you off-load your burdens and we assist in strengthening the precious bond you have as a couple.