How to Help and Love a Partner with Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem issues can negatively influence your relationship with yourself as well as your partner. When someone struggles with a low self-esteem they lower their expectations of how they should be treated. It’s also the easiest gateway for doubt to creep in and could lead to further trust issues. Self-esteem also influences how we deal with conflict and communication.

Although working on their self-esteem is ultimately their responsibility, you can help your partner with their self-esteem issues in the following ways:

• Brag about them. And compliment them, reminding them of their strengths. Do this as often and as sincerely as you can. Celebrate their victories by telling others (and them) about it. This will also improve the way others look at your partner.

• Accept Them Unconditionally. They are already fighting a battle in their heads day in and day out. Help them win this war with themselves by having his/her back. Love them for their strengths as well as their weaknesses. We all have our flaws.

• I rather than ‘you’. This enables you to explore your own feelings instead of blaming your partner for something they did or didn’t do. Example: ‘I would like it if you spend more time with the kids’ vs ‘You never spend time with the kids’.

• Volunteer together. A great way to boost self-esteem is by volunteering your time and energy for something that matters. Choose a cause that you both believe in and make it a weekly or monthly habit.

These are just a few ways in which you can help your partner if he/she is struggling with a low self-esteem. Encouraging your partner to seek individual therapy to process the root of self-esteem issues can be extremely beneficial, along with group therapy.