Can EMDR Counseling Help with Communication in my Marriage?

When most people hear about EMDR Therapy, their first thought is that it’s for a large traumatic event.  While this is certainly the case - many people entering our Lancaster office doors have experienced a very difficult event (ex: losing their job, death of a friend, car accident, etc), we also work with many attachment trauma histories that result in communication breakdowns and difficulties.  What many people overlook is that EMDR can help us communicate better with our partners and family members about the small things in life - like taking out the trash, getting chores done, coordinating who takes the kids to sports, or navigating finances.  EMDR gets to the core of what activates us to get into these fights initially.

So how is that EMDR counseling you ask?  EMDR is helping address these small attachment issues that may have occurred well before you met your current partner. Whether you’re in our Lancaster, PA office or meeting with us virtually - your EMDR therapist will help map out what triggered you in these recent communication issues (ex: ‘I am alone’, ‘I am not heard’, or ‘I am out of control’). Through mapping these patterns and early memories with your parents or caregivers, your EMDR therapist can then make an effective treatment plan. Many of our clients are amazed at how just a few reprocessing sessions in our Lancaster office can begin to make a positive difference in the communication patterns in their relationships.  

A recent couple at Sun Point’s Counseling practice explained: “We had no idea what EMDR even meant when we started. We were arguing constantly about all the small things. But EMDR brought us back together and we’re stronger than ever” - Lancaster, PA Couple in their 40s with Children 

Attachment theory provides insight into four main attachment styles, which can impact your communication cycle.  John Bowlby and other researchers help give criteria for what parenting relationships generates which attachment style.  These attachment styles are: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. As your EMDR therapist gathers your family of origin history and other relationship history - they will help you identify patterns and learn how you can foster a sense of secure attachment through both healing trauma work and communication skills interventions.

EMDR gets us out of the small unhealthy communication cycles that have may been perpetuated for years - simply by getting us to the root of the communication difficulties.  Let’s face it - we’re all human - and there may be certain cycles we’ve been hoping to break.  And truthfully, many couples have done therapy and cognitively know what they need to change, but just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to make those changes.  And that’s the science of how EMDR can potentially help impact you and your partner to help heal past attachment traumas to begin to reconnect in a positive and meaningful way. 

Feel free to reach out to our Lancaster Clinical Care Team to learn about all of our EMDRIA trained EMDR counselors and how they may be able to help you.  In addition to EMDR, they hold additional couples and relational advanced trainings including: Gottman Couples interventions, attachment theory, emotionally focused therapy, and more - email: welcome@sunpointwellness.com. You’re not alone - we are here to help make a plan so you can get through the week without any communication barriers.