How to Cope When Your Partner Wants to File for Divorce

Is your partner threatening to file for divorce, or they might have already provided you with the papers. What now? If you weren't aware of how serious the problems were, this could come as quite a shock. Instead of defaulting to destructive behavior - here are ways in which you can help yourself cope with the bad news:

Choose a Neutral Space

If in any way possible, try to have this conversation in an open, neutral space. If your partner surprises you with the statement, ask if it’s possible for you to move to a coffee shop or restaurants or the park. We deal better with uncomfortable conversations in public since we are less likely to make a scene or overreact.                           

Don’t Beg and Plead

This might be the first thing that you would want to do, but it can have the opposite effect. Your partner might already be prepared for your begging and they could justify their decision. Instead, ask them if they are willing to sit down and discuss the reasons for the divorce. Try to keep your composure, take deep breaths and make eye contact.

Consider the Options

While you are discussing your partner’s request, you could also ask him/her whether they’ve made up their mind or whether they’re open to discussing other options or alternatives.

Ask for Time

It would be great if your partner could give you time to process this news. Ask politely if you could take some time to consider their request and read up on representative options or alternatives to divorce.

Reach out to a therapist to process emotions - and find a therapist who has expertise working with couples in the stage of deciding whether to continue their relationship. Check out our blog on Conscious Uncoupling to learn more about the process when couples do choose to go separate ways.