How to Deal With Sex Rejection

Do you feel your partner is rejecting you when you initiate sex? Or maybe your dates go well up until the point where you hope it will become intimate?

Sexual rejection can damage your relationship and self-esteem.

“The same pathways in the brain get activated when we experience meaningful rejections as get activated when we experience physical pain — hurt feelings actually hurt”. - Guy Winch Ph.D

Let’s take a look at how you can deal with sex rejection in its many shapes and forms

Have the chat: Some individuals might feel too ashamed or reluctant to discuss the issue with their partners, but not talking about it won’t do anyone any good. Try to schedule a talk with your partner where you could raise your concerns. Who knows, the rejection might have nothing to do with you, to begin with. By talking about it you could also discuss the expectations you have of each other.

Let them talk: Instead of just focusing on your own feelings of rejection, really listen to what your partner is communicating. Are there certain things that you could change or adapt to in order to improve your sex life? Maybe it’s as basic as the timing of your initiation, or maybe your partner feels neglected in other areas of your relationship.

Discuss a solution: Once you’ve heard both sides of the story it’s time to put your newfound insight into action. Share ideas on how you could improve your sex life, as well as prevent doing ‘harm’ to each other. As an individual, you could find ways in which to boost your self-esteem that’s not related to your sex life. Remember, you are worth so much more than what someone thinks of you in a particular moment.

If you feel you could benefit from couples counseling, don’t hesitate to reach out. We're conveniently located in downtown Lancaster, Pennsylvania and frequently work with couples to discover what intimacy looks like for them.