Single & Overweight? How to Boost Your Dating Confidence

Although we are in an era that aims to switch the attention from body stigma to body confidence and positivity, it takes time to adapt our narrative to what we, as a society, we’re often bombarded with images of what unattainable “desirability” and “attractiveness” look like. Many people fall into the trap of thinking that only lean and skinny bodies are beautiful and this has added to so many people being unable to celebrate their bodies. 

This article will take a look at some reframing and cognitive changes we can make to enjoy dating beyond the size of our bodies and looks. Since dating in itself can be rather daunting, there are certain steps we can take to prepare ourselves on an emotional level before we put ourselves ‘out there’. 

Before Dating

• Repeat Mantras and Manifestations

We want to change our assumptions and negative beliefs regarding our body type. That’s why it is important to ‘rewrite’ the story we’ve been telling ourselves. Repeat to yourself whenever you think of your body type or size: ‘I am enough’, ‘My size doesn’t equal my worth’, ‘I am beautiful just the way I am’, ‘I deserve to be loved and desired’. 

Create a list of your favorite things about yourself, relating to your body, mind, beliefs, values, traits, and characteristics. 

• Get to Know Yourself

It might sound like a cliche, but there is a reason why they say we need to like or love ourselves before we can attempt loving others. This doesn’t mean we have to be perfect and without flaws, but rather in such a stable relationship with ourselves so that we don’t need validation from external factors to love ourselves. Being single doesn’t mean we aren’t loveable. 

Try to figure out what it is you are looking for in a partner, not only physically and career-wise, but which values and belief systems would be ideal. Knowing ourselves allows us to have our own set of standards that need to be met, regardless of whether the other person finds us attractive, interesting or desirable. 

• Get Comfortable

If your current body type is something that makes you feel uncomfortable it could prevent you from totally embodying yourself during the date. Spend some time with yourself and your body, play your favorite music and ‘move’. Respect how your body follows the rhythm and explore what makes you feel sexy.