Are you avoiding sex? We work with many people in Lancaster PA with the same issue

Feeling loved and experiencing intimacy forms a cornerstone in a healthy relationship, but many couples are struggling with sexual intimacy. Let’s explore some of the reasons why you might be avoiding sex...

Emotional Disconnect 

Sometimes there is an underlying disconnect between partners that is causing them to avoid getting intimate. This could be something subtle that you are unaware of, or something that you’ve been feeling for quite some time. Sometimes we want to be adored and appreciated for things other than our bodies. If your communication isn’t up to par, this could be a reason for avoiding getting intimate on other levels. 

Physical Discomfort 

If you are associating sex with the feeling of pain or discomfort, there might be an underlying issue at hand. Chronic illness and medical conditions seem to be one of the main reasons why individuals are avoiding sex. Don’t just assume it’s supposed to feel that way. Get yourself checked out by your doctor or gynecologist to rule out any physical conditions causing you to avoid sex. If you are struggling with a low libido there might be changes you can make to your diet and lifestyle to improve your sex drive as well. 

Bedroom Distractions

In this technological age, most of us have become accustomed to engaging with our smartphones instead of our partners, in bed. We mindlessly scroll through social media instead of communicating, or physically touching our partners. Challenge yourself to ban scroll time in bed and engage and connect with your partner instead. The same goes for babies, toddlers or even pets sharing your bed. Try to schedule a time when it’s just the two of you and you have the freedom to explore each other without distractions. 

Stress and Exhaustion

Constantly worrying about work, deadlines and responsibilities can kill the sexual vibe. If you or your partner associate professional success with self-worth it could also be problematic and force sexual intimacy to the backseat of your relationship. To counter stress, find ways to distress as a couple or make time to discuss deeper problems and issues when not in bed. Find ways in which you can support each other, this in itself will add to your emotional connection. Acknowledge that there are times when you could be totally exhausted and the thought of sex feels like mentally climbing Mount Everest. However, if the feeling of exhaustion, burnout, and depletion persists for more than 6 weeks, it’s a good idea to see your physician. 

Pressure or Expectation

A cycle of avoidance might start when your sex life doesn’t live up to your expectations. Maybe you have assumptions about what sex should be like, how often you should have sex, positions you ‘should’ be trying, or how you and your partner ‘should’ be feeling about it. Consider how pornography could be affecting your relationship and whether watching porn regularly could influence your or your partner’s expectations. If your partner has been shaming you for your sex avoidance this could also play a role in your reluctance. Have an open, honest discussion about what sex means to you and how you can both work on building a healthy sexual relationship. 

Are there other reasons that come to mind when you think of your habit of avoiding sexual intimacy? We’d love to hear about it and help you navigate your way to a healthy, positive, intimate relationship with your partner.