Can EMDR therapy help me after an affair when I'm experiencing PTSD?
It might come as a surprise to some individuals, but an affair or infidelity can experience symptoms similar to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). These individuals have lost their sense of security and trust and are in trauma after the details of the infidelity come to light. Just like others suffering from threats to their emotional or physical well-being, research shows that partners who have been betrayed showcase the same classical symptoms as PTSD being:
Repeated intrusive thoughts
Unstable emotional regulation
Dissociation or out of body experiences
Overwhelm and powerlessness
Alternating between feeling numb and acting out
Assigning blame to regain self-worth
Confusion and disbelief, disorientation
The ‘new’ trigger of betrayal can also allow previous unresolved issues to come to the surface, especially those that caused emotional damage in the past. The partner experiencing PTSD could come across as rather unpredictable with waves of grief, despair, disbelief, and mood swings.
The individual needs to seek support outside of the relationship and find ways to self-soothe and regulate their emotions. It is also normal that they want to get revenge or damage the cheating partner and this is where therapy could help them create resilience and find ways to build a better future and heal from the past. Various factors are playing a role, like whether the couple aims to move past the infidelity, or are planning to separate.
The good news is that there are various ways in which Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by an affair or infidelity can be treated. One such therapeutic intervention is Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR). The Center for Relational Recovery describes EMDR as an evidence-based integrative psychotherapy approach that is intended to treat psychological disorders induced by trauma, as well as other mental health problems and somatic symptoms. This modality is especially helpful in those cases where ‘talk therapy’ alone isn’t effective. It is seen as a gentle approach that assists the patient in exploring their potential and minimizing risk and harm.
Typically talk therapy only activates the neocortex of the brain; whereas, EMDR activates the limbic system, brainstem and neocortex. This is the only form of therapy activating all 3 regions. - Sunpoint Wellness
The duration of treatment would depend on each patient, but one can typically expect five to twelve sessions for treatment. EMDR sessions are about 50-minutes long and will help you, or you and your partner address triggering moments and memories related to the trauma experienced, your therapist will guide you at your own pace and make use of an eight- phase approach in treatment. Ultimately, the aim is to help the patient free themselves from neurophysiological blockages and help them reconnect to themselves and live fulfilling lives.
You can also learn more about the use of EMDR as a treatment for infidelity by reading the study; Emotionally Focused Therapy and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing: An Integrated Treatment to Heal the Trauma of Infidelity.
If you have any questions about EMDR and want to know if it would be a good fit for you and your current struggles, feel free to contact us.