Ready to Explore Fantasies during COVID in Lancaster?

Are you living in two worlds, reality and your fantasies, but you don’t exactly know how to bring the two together? It’s very normal for people to be a bit reluctant to share their deepest needs and desires with their partners. By exploring what you like and following these tips, we’ll help you open the door to your pleasure! 

Explore Your Senses

Although you probably have some idea of what puts you in the mood, it could be that you are feeling a bit disconnected from your senses. Think about how your body responds when you are feeling aroused. How is your body temperature changing? Which smells do you enjoy or associate with pleasure? Do you find it sensual to include different tastes, food and textures in your foreplay and during sex? Certain songs could also instantly make you want to take your clothes off. If you want to share your fantasies and bring them to life in your partnership, you need to know what works for you. 

More Talking, Less Judging

The first and most important step is to accept your partner and what turns them on. Refrain from judging what they find sexual or sensual. Show interest by asking questions and exploring their ideas. If you feel shy and reserved, start small by merely telling each other when you are feeling aroused and what happened to cause it. Let each other know when something in your environment or surrounding is pressing all the right buttons. On the same note of acceptance, it is also crucial to remain honest and respect each other’s boundaries. If you don’t feel comfortable with a certain activity or action, gently communicate this. You’d be surprised at how many compromises you could reach by openly talking about your needs. 

Change it Up

Before diving skin deep into the bigger fantasies, start small. If you’ve been keeping sex for the bedroom, try having sex outside or in another room. It’s easy to fall into the same patterns for foreplay and sex which might not be feeding your deepest desires. Include a blindfold next time, or remove each other’s underwear with your mouths - anything to make it feel a little different. This is also the ideal way to find out what makes the other person more excited and aroused. It could be that you want to explore domination and submission, or roleplaying - so test the waters little by little with basic bondage, teasing, dominating or playing the role of someone else. Afterwards, you can discuss what felt arousing, empowering, sensual and outright out of this world! 

Make Sure You Are On the Same Page

Should you find that you and/or your partner want to include more people into your sex life it would be wise to discuss the possible impact on your relationship before inviting them over. It is important that both people in the relationship feel comfortable and respected and that they aren’t merely agreeing because of their fear of abandonment or codependency etc. If you feel like there is a deeper reason why you aren’t willing or able to explore your fantasies with your partner it could be a good idea to bring this up with your therapist and find ways to work on your connecting, healing and intimacy.