What is Hypersexuality and How Can it Influence Your Relationship?

Laura Morse Article 5 - What is Hypersexuality and How Can it Influence Your Relationship? 

Hypersexual disorder is a proposed diagnosis for people who engage in sex or think about sex through fantasies and urges more than normal. These individuals may engage in activities such as porn, masturbation, sex for pay, and multiple partners, among others. As a result, these people may feel distress in areas of life including work and relationships.  - Psychology Today 

When we consider a mental health diagnosis in an individual, there are various factors to consider. These are many times determined by assessing the behavior in terms of levels of distress caused, how deviant the behavior is from the norm and whether it is causing dysfunction in the various areas of the person’s life. Another factor to consider is the level of dangerousness linked to the symptoms, traits, or behaviours. Is the person a risk to themselves or others or could being active in the behaviour be dangerous? 

The above-mentioned quote highlights that the sexual behaviour for those suffering from hypersexuality is more than normal, possibly deviates from the norm in relation with traditional sexual relationships and causes distress and dysfunction in the individual’s relationships and responsibilities at work. Regarding danger, the individual could find themselves practicing illegal activities or be physically risking their health. 

Hypersexuality also referred to as sexual addiction, is thus defined as a dysfunction obsession with sexual fantasies, the preoccupation with finding non-intimate sexual partners, engaging in pornography, masturbating compulsives or objectifying their partners sexually. This behavior will be present for at least six months and continue despite efforts to self-correct, promises made to self and others to disengage, and dealing with the negative consequences in various areas of their life even if it caused legal, career, health or marital problems. 

Sex and sexuality play an important role in intimate relationships, so it’s understandable that suffering from hypersexuality, or having a partner with sex addiction will cause significant distress in the relationship. Many times the behavior is secretive and the individual could be feeling too much guilt to disclose it to their partners. This could lead to distrust in the relationship, especially if their partner has strong rules and boundaries regarding sexual behavior in and outside of the relationship. Should the information of infidelity and deviant sexual behavior come to light it could be detrimental to the relationship if neither party is aware of hypersexuality. 

Take note that hypersexuality could also be a symptom of another disorder, such as periods of mania and hypomania in bipolar disorder. That’s another reason why it is important to seek out treatment for the individual that is suffering, as well as those involved in relationships with them. Treatment could help the individual to rebuild their relationships, identify triggers, and cope with stressful situations, find alternative behaviors that are less damaging to the self and those around them. 

If you are curious as to whether you or someone in your life may be suffering from hypersexuality, the following criteria could be helpful:

*Have recurrent, intense sexual fantasies, urges, and/or behaviors

*The behaviors consistently interfere with other activities and obligations

*Behaviors occur in response to dysphoric mood states (anxiety, depression, boredom, irritability) or other stressful life events

*Engage in consistent but unsuccessful efforts to control or reduce sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors

*The frequency or intensity of sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors cause significant distress or behaviors

Resource Cited: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/conditions/hypersexuality-sex-addiction